Average Joes Vs Orcland RaidersThe First Half
Match day 2 brought the second consecutive meeting for ‘Joes against an Orc side in front of 27,000 fans (14,000 ratty flag wavers); brace yourselves ratty fans because it wasn’t pretty! The early part of the game saw the rats kick to the orcs, and then try to lay into their green opponents, with newcomer ‘Shirley’ (the rat ogre) knocking out a black orc, and Tank the storm vermin matching this feat. However the greenskins struck back and blister No.10 took out gutter runner The Rat, a serious injury which will also cause him to miss the next game. 3 line rats were also knocked out before the end of the half. In terms of ball-play the Orcs had worked it down their right, eventually sending a blitzer free running for the endzone. He wasn’t quick enough and storm vermin La Fleur blocked him, regaining the ball for ‘Joes who, with time ticking down, tried an improbably throw over the top. The target gutter runner missed his catch and the ball dropped free, only for the orcs to pick up and using a hitherto unknown orc tactic of ‘throwing’ passed it forwards enough for a lineorc to score an improbably touchdown in the last seconds.
With only eleven players at the start of the match Average Joes were now down to 9 for the opening drive – 2 having recovered from being knocked out, while the orcs had no such issues. The previous weeks orc side; the Greenskin Hackers, had really caused a problem! The scores were soon level however, with the orcs kicking to the rats, and a controversial touchback giving gutter runner Pepper Brooks the ball. A cage on the ratty left then gave him a vehicle to move forwards into the ‘Raiders half. The orcs ignored the gapping gap which Pepper subsequently ran through and carried on hitting instead while the gutter runner levelled the scored at 1-1 on turn 2 of the second half.
From then on it was more of a battle than a match, and more of a massacre than a fair fight. A string of injuries and knockouts crippled ‘Joes, with the Black Orc No.7 causing the main one as he injuried ‘Shirley’ the rat ogre. The earlier scorer; No.10, put the boot in on linerat Dwight so thoroughly that he was pronounced dead at the pitch side, and Black Orc No.8 clattered into linerat Justin, sending him into the crowd – the green half sadly. This wasn’t the end either as another 3 rats ended up in the knockout box, and a further 1 in the crowd, but the friendly side this time. Towards the end of all this damage the orcs finally scored their second against a team of 6 rats (most of which were lying prone on the floor), with orc blitzer No.11 going over the line to make it 2-1.
The rats set up for a last drive – 2 turns remaining, and only 6 players left, but this included two gutter runners, including top scorer Pepper Brooks, so they still had a slight chance of a draw. However, even as the ball fell towards the pitch from the kickoff the orcs launched a Blitz and swamped the rats line. With no other option Pepper picked up the ball and ran, but demonstrated the rats luck throughout the second half when he slipped and fell while trying to leap the orc line. A last attempt by the ‘Raiders to score number 3 was foiled by their own catching ability, and the game ended in an orc victory, two touchdowns to one.
Team Update – Injuries & New Recruits
2 players are missing for the next game, which will be against orc opposition for the third time, reputed to be one of the best in the competition. A 3rd player; linerat Dwight, died during the match, and his place has been taken by a new linerat recruit. ‘Joes coach has also taken on an apothecary. This reduces Joes to 12 players.
Dwight – Dead.
Shirley – Smashed hand; punched an orcs head.
Justin – Full recovery, no-one knows how.
The Rat – Broken jaw.