Thursday, 22 November 2012

By The Sword Divided - An English Civil War Campaign

Lord Flashearts Opening Commentary:

1) Royalist damn your eyes, what other choice can their be?  Apart from those cursed rebel scum...

2) Not having the book I will assume there is a Royalist list?
3) Lord Flasheart will take command!  His full name is Lord Tiberius Derek Ramses Flasheart, and he is a cad of the first water.  He will happily take candy from a baby, change sides in the middle of a battle, and deliberately stay in a hostelry of dubious reputation and morals while his ‘allies’ fight his wars for him.  His hobbies include staying in hostelries of ill-repute, ‘conversing’ with ladies of low moral standings, and stamp collecting.  His aim is to be the richest and most powerful man in England – after the King, and perhaps Prince Wwupert, of course, and to launch his own brand of hair-care products.  He is allergic to lead shot and honesty – both cause him to come out in a rash.
4) Lord Flasheart hails from that stronghold of Royalist sympathies – Wrecsam!  In front of the biggest crowd every seen in that part of the world (3 rabid down and outs, a reporter for the Pig Monthly Gazette with a hat and feather fixation, and a dachshund named Colin) he has raised his standard and begun to bang his drum to raise troops to support his monarch!  He has subsequently been served with an ASBO for noise pollution.
5) Lord Flasheart is considered untrustworthy by even has closest, erm, ‘friends’.  However he cares not a jot for their opinions and has rolled his territories, coming up with the staggeringly pathetic total of two villages to add to his area of control.  He has claimed the nearby village of Holt (with its small castle), and that of Beeston (with its larger castle and central position in Cheshire). 
6) Mustering the troops - Curse your eyes sirs, did you not read point 2?  Scan that list in and email it to me post-haste so I may chose from my best men.  My mathematics says that I have 500pts to spend, and once I know what I can purchase for that I aim to create a solid body of foote, with my prize mortar – Roaring Meg – taking centre stage!  Flasheart will lead, with Sir Hugh of Beeston as his second in command.
7) Take the Field!  Seek out your enemies, destroy them in battle, take their territories and claim Victory! – This will be like giving giant chocolate buttons to the governor of Hull; easy!

And on the subject of what his army selection will be:
Damn your eyes sir!  Do you besmirch the mathematical reputation of Lord Flasheart?!? I will have you clapped in……oh……yes, I see what you mean.  No harm in a man trying though is there?
May I introduce - The Grand Army of Wrecsam:
General: Lord Flasheart presiding, CV8 (boring, what a pity).
Brigadier: Sir Hugh of Beeston.
Hopton’s Regiment of Foote: 1 pike block & 2 musket sleeves
The King’s Lifeguard Regiment of Foote: 1 pike block & 2 musket sleeves
Stradlings Regiment of Foote: 1 pike block & 2 musket sleeves
Brigadier Wolfe’s Horse: 1 regiment of gallopers
Archibald Wrigglies Storming Party
Roaring Meg: 1 mortar battery

A grand total of 442 points spent.  Who in their right minds would garrison Altringham? Ghastly place.

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