Dreadball Season 2014-15: Round 2 Results

Heartbreakers Claim Even Honours In Violent Clashes

Following an unexpected away loss to the Hawarden Heartbreakers the Carbis Bay Buccaneers’ gained a measure of revenge with a 2-0 win in the home leg of their tie.   The away day at Heartbreaker HQ was low on the scoring front, but high on the physical contact count as the home side looked to dominate their sea-going opponents with a string of heavy slams.  The tone was set in the opening seconds of the game as Heartbreakers guard Ben Grimm steamed straight into Buccaneers striker Jack Sparrow, removing him from the game with major internal injuries. 

It took until turn 4 for anyone to attempt a strike – star man Dirk Pitt bravely putting Carbis Bay 3 point to the good after a sneaky steal from under the nose of Bruce Banner.  Peter Parker immediately equalised with a 3pt strike, before a particularly nasty incident saw Buccaneers’ striker Hector Barbossa incapacitated for 3 turns following four consecutive slams by the two Heartbreakers guards.  The referee was unable to comment due to her lack of vocal cords.  Carbis Bay struggled to get back into it as the home side retained the ball without trying to score, and continued their violent streak which left the Buccaneers with no strikers available in the closing stages – guard Bruce Banner flattening both ‘Mad Jack’ and Dirk Pitt.  J.L Howlett ‘The Wolverine’ broke ranks for the Heartbreakers to put in a 1 point strike to give them a slim lead on turn 11 in a training ground move, and the stage was set for a moment of drama as Dirk Pitt shook off his concussion and returned to the field in time for a scoring opportunity.  He sized up his chances as he raced down the field, and, rejecting an easier 1pt shot for a draw he went for the harder 2pt opportunity, missing it.  Victory to the Heartbreakers; 1-0.

If the away leg had been filled with violence, few strikes and a quiet crowd, then the home leg for the buccaneers was the opposite.  This was partly due to the early departure of the Heartbreakers star guard; Ben Grimm, who was removed from the stadium in several pieces following a point blank hit from the re-launched ball.  Unable to impose themselves on the game physically the away side had to start to play, and what a match for the fans as a strike was scored in each of the first 7 turns.

It was end-to-end stuff as the crowd roared their approval.  Dirk Pitt opened the scoring for the home side with a 3pt strike, only for Peter Parker to sink a 4 pointer to take his side into the lead.  A quick pass by Sparrow and Pitt racked up his second 3 pointer, which was promptly cancelled out by Parker moments later to keep the score at 1-0 to the away side.  A powerful run by Bucanneers guard Al Giordino made space for Pitt to rack up his first 4 point strike of the season, to which Parker could only reply with a 3 pointer, before Pitt repeated the trick against a lax Heartbreakers defence to make it 4-0 to the Bucaneers.  The Heartbreakers remaining guard Bruce Banner tried to assert himself, but the home side were in the ascendancy and ‘The Admiral’ James Sandecker flattened him.  Parker still scored again, but Pitt matched his 3pts with a 3pts strike of his own, and the away side could only reply with a 2 point strike by ‘Daredevil’ Matt Murdock.  Irony struck the Buccaneers  hard late on as Sparrow was wiped out (again) by a ball re-launch, and Pitt passed up an easy opportunity for a 2 point strike which would have killed the game.  But the Heartbreakers had no more to give.  The game ended with a sour moment – Tony Stark sent off for the away side for a cynical stomp on Pitt, and the Carbis Bay Buccaneers claimed a 2-0 victory.

Round 2 in Brief:

Here is where everything gets that bit hazy.  Due to a lack of information the results from many of the games are unknown, and the events of each is best left to the individual readers imagination.  In a similar vein the mathematical workings of how each team is placed in the competition is known only to the organiser, and despite his best efforts I’m damned if I’ve a clue what’s going on.  As such I can only definitely confirm who is in which division, and the next rounds fixtures.

Round 2 Results:

	Home		Away
Plague Bearers (Mark)	1-0	Vs.	1-0	Hollywood All-Stars (Andy)
Mythos Maniacs (Adrian)	1-0	Vs.	0-1	Unknown (Dafydd)
Hawarden Heartbreakers (Paddy)	1-0	Vs.	0-2	Carbis Bay Buccaneers (Rick)
Unknown (Pete)	?	Vs.	?	Iron Giants (Tom)
Dwarf VIII (Simon)	?	Vs.	?	Skaven Foundation (Ian)
Unknown (Dave)	?	Vs.	?	Deff To Humanz (James)

A roundup of the other games, and an overall view from our beloved loony in charge - Pete:

“League news: Four major surprises since last round. The Dwarves are in the ascendancy, Dafydd tamed Adrian, I have somehow failed in my mission to aspire to fail in all things and Rick has drawn the one game he didn't want for the third round. Good news: Ian found a way to survive his last game despite suffering major casualties. Just eat enough garlic pre match that the air around you could be sliced and diced, it obviously distracts your opponents. Everyone should still be afraid as with still 3 rounds to go any player can still jump from the bottom to the top and visa versa. Good luck to all in the next round and please note garlic is banned from all future games.”

Mythos Maniacs Vs Unknown Corporation

The Mythos Maniacs (Adrian) met the hopeful humans known only as the unknown (Dafydd) aiming to obliterate them and move on to the summit of the table.  The corporation side proved singularly uncooperative in this scenario, they clearly hadn’t read the script.  The corporation guards proved most adept at thrashing their opposite numbers from the field, and a trading of 4-point strikes became the norm.  The nameless side finally imposed themselves with their guards ‘Terror’ and ‘Peril’ managing a combined kill score of 3, but the humans held out for a win apiece and secured a place in division 1 for the third round.

Plague Bearers Vs Hollywood Allstars

The meeting between the walking ecological disaster that is the Plague Bearers (Mark), and the 2013 Tournament Champions the Hollywood Allstars (Andy), was well documented by the ‘Bearers head coach.  For those wishing to skip the unpleasentarians both sides won narrow victories in two very close encounters.

“First Game (Hollywood Allstars - home team):-

After a good opening play by the humans their striker goofed the shot and missed a 2pt goal. The ball rebounded towards him but he was left hanging his head in shame when he completely missed catching it, leaving the ball in an ideal place for Ecoli the Plague Bears ace striker to pick it up on their turn.  The Plague Bearers opening salvo saw BSE, the Ratmen guard, take out a jack and a human striker for 2 rounds leaving the path clear for Ecoli to  pivot beautifully, pick up the ball and surge down the pitch - heroically scoring a 2-pointer and sending the crowd wild.

The next turn the Humans sent their striker charging down the field, picking up the ball without slowing his pace then attempting to score a 2-pointer to even the score. Too much forward momentum caused his aim to be off and he missed the goal.  On the Ratmens turn the guards bullied a jack to no real effect, then switched targets to the striker who just attempted to score.  BSE, with an assist from Ecoli, injured his third opponent of the day, leaving Ecoli to pick up the ball and hunker down behind the 4 point goal.

Nothing much happens in the rest of the game due to Ecoli sitting on the ball and gathering his friends around him, cutting off the humans from getting the ball until turn 10. One thing of note was in turn 6 when BSE 's shoe laces came undone causing him to fall on his ass 3 times in the same round trying to get past opponents in close proximity. 

In Turn 10 Ecoli got cocky trying to score a 4-pointer but failed miserably.

Turn 11 saw the humans equalise.

Turn 12 saw Ecoli make recompense for his last goal attempt, stretching the Ratmens lead to 2 points.

 Turn 13 the humans quickly negated that lead with 2pts of their own.

The final turn Ecoli dramatically managed a 1-point goal to win the game.

Second game (the Plague bearers at home):-

 Turn 1 the Plague Bearers try out there a new Striker Typhus as Ecoli takes a well deserved rest.  Unfortunately he has a case of first game jitters and missed his first attempt at a 1pt goal.

Turn 2 the humans fare no better and miss their attempt at a goal, but catch the rebound. 

Turn 3 Typhus steals the ball but is in the wrong half of the pitch to make an attempt to score.

Turn 4 sees Typhus get slammed on his ass by a Jack and loose the ball which the humans pick up and score.  This continued to go the Humans way for the rest of the game until Typhus equalised in turn 11 with a 4-pointer, only to have the humans pull it out of the bag and win on the last turn.”

The Hollywood Allstars Head Coach take on the situation:

“That seems a fair report, the number of dropped balls and missed shots was reminiscent of those rainy days at the Arms Park and the resultant greasy ball, which the gallant humans and verminous rodents found so difficult to get hold of.  Certainly one of the closest and most evenly balanced pair of games I've played so far and the end result was in the balance till the last turn in both home and away legs.”

Division 1:

Position	Team	Player
1).	Carbis Bay Buccaneers	Rick
2).	Hawarden Heartbreakers	Paddy
3).	Mythos Maniacs	Adrian
4).	Unknown	Dafydd
5).	Unknown	Peter
6).	Hollywood All Stars	Andy

Division 2:

Position	Team	Player
1).	Unknown	Dave
2).	Plague Bearers	Mark
3).	Dwarf VIII	Simon
4).	Deff To Humanz	James
5).	Iron Giants	Tom
6).	Skaven Foundation	Ian

Round 3 Fixtures:

A preview of round 3, and the games and Carbis Bay face their rivals Mythos Maniacs, the Skaven Foundation fights to stop its freefall to Division 3, and the dwarfs look to continue their run.

Mythos Maniacs (Adrian) Vs. Carbis Bay Bucaneers (Rick)

Unknown (Dafydd) Vs. Hollywood All-Stars (Andy)

Hawarden Heartbreakers (Paddy) Vs. Unknown (Pete)

Dwarf VIII (Simon) Vs. Unknown (Dave)

Skaven Foundation (Ian) Vs. Iron Giants (Tom)

Plague Bearers (Mark) Vs. Deff To Humanz (James)

Scoring Charts:

The star striker of the Carbis Bay Buccaneers; Dirk Pitt’ leads the scoring chart with 32 points from his eight 3-pointer, and two 4-pointer, strikes so far.  ‘Lore’ of Mythos Maniacs follows him with 29 points.  Peter Parker of the Hawarden Heartbreakers has 19 points.